I have been asked to share a little about our family planning belief's...or non-beliefs :-) or 'quiver full' convictions.
So I will attempt to share our story gently and respectfully. I have avoided this subject in the past because it seems to me that most people are not interested in change. When God begins to work on someone's heart He tugs at it and they respond. He doesn't need me to argue them into something. So...this is not meant to be a persuasive paper or a judgment on those with different beliefs. This is just our story. I DO hope it inspires someone to else to trust God with their family size. :-)

I was growing up in the 70’s and 80's-- when it was not typical for the mother to be home with her children--except at my house. :-) My own sweet mother was there for us in the home, always waiting to hear our tales and always ready to pray with us. She taught me that a woman's greatest calling is to be the helpmeet to her husband and a stay at home mother to her children. From a very early age I dreamed of having a large family (I loved the Walton's television show!). Perhaps I was able to dream of the joys of a large family because my own mother and father made our family life such a joy.

Through the passage of time and thanks to the world's excellent brainwashing program, I came to believe that more than 3 or 4 children were an 'irresponsible and burdensome' thing for people to have. Sadly, Christians in the church had bought into the same lifestyle as the world and were now passing it on to the younger generation.

My husband and I married with the agreement that we would have only 2 children. But...deep in my heart I knew it couldn't be wrong to love children and have more of them.
When our second child was about 3 years old I picked up the book "Full Quiver" at a local homeschool book table and began reading. That's when I discovered that my desire to be blessed by children was put there by God! Amazing! The new problem I faced was the fact that my hubby did not share my conviction and in fact, had never desired or been open to us having a large family. Thankfully, the Lord had already worked on my heart and showed me how important it was to respect my husband and his leadership of our family.

After a few weeks of prayer and SERIOUS Bible study, I went carefully to my husband and shared with him about the tugging at my heart. I did not ask him to change his mind. I did not tell him I demanded more children. I simply told him that my convictions about birth control had changed, but that my desire to honor his decision in the matter was more important than anything else. I explained that no matter what he decided I would be respectful, and more than that, I would be happy! After all, I figured if this really was God's call to us that he could change my hubby's heart whenever and however He wanted.
I dropped the subject and went on with my life as though nothing had changed, simply trusting God to do His will. I knew it would be a true miracle if my hubby ever changed his mind! Ask anybody who knew him then and they would tell you the same thing. "He'll never change on that one!"

After about 2 months my Hubby announced to me that God had changed his heart. :-)
I was excited!
I was scared!
What if we started having babies every 9 months?! Oh my goodness! What had I gotten myself into? I should never have studied the Bible like that! I should never have picked up that Full Quiver book!

Oh, how patient God is with us and how much we have to learn.
It was a long time--years-- before I conceived another child. Of course we were overjoyed and began planning where we could fit a little bassinet into our tiny home. Part way into the pregnancy however, I miscarried. The grief was very real. My heart ached and my arms longed to hold the tiny bundle and how I wished I could've touched the baby soft cheek.
Again, it was a long time before I conceived, and again...the baby went to be with Jesus before I ever held it in my arms.

Through these trying years God was teaching us more. We learned that letting God plan your family means that you trust Him no matter what. My dear husband reminded me that it's not right to attempt to 'twist God's arm' to give us more children! What a revelation! It turns out that WE don't make babies! GOD does! WE don't get to add children unless God WANTS us to! He doesn't necessarily want every family to be as large as the Duggar family...though there are many large families out there. Some families that are trusting God with their family size still have no children and some have just one or two. You'd be surprised! God actually has a plan...He doesn't just hand out babies willy nilly...hmmmm...thinking, thinking, thinking... I guess God is smarter than me?!!! :-D Why does it take so long for me to grasp the simple and the obvious?

Waiting and trusting was hard for me. I am one of those people who likes to jump all the way into something. When I decide something should be done, I want to do it yesterday and I want to do it big! I had to learn trust and patience.

When our second child was 7 years old I got pregnant again. This time I carried the pregnancy full term and the baby was born on my daughter's 8th birthday! Please don't tell me that is a coincidence. I don't believe in coincidences. Because I am a Christian I have given God permission to direct every area of my life. I know He does! The stories I could tell...but I won't right now ... :-)

After about 2 years I got pregnant again....and miscarried for the third time. By this time I knew that God had a plan for our family that was unique, just as each of us is unique. I felt a deep sense of trust and joy. No, I wasn't happy to lose another baby...joy is a sense of peace, not just surface happiness.

When our 3rd child was 3 years old God blessed our family with twin girls! Double blessing!
We have been given so much! And right now I am very busy!

There is so much that God has taught me over the years that it's hard to sum it all up here.
I have learned some very important lessons.

1. God doesn't make mistakes.
2. As a Christian, I need to be responsible to train the children God gives 'in the way they should go' or they will cease to be a blessing and instead be a burden...as children are for so many families who aren't Christians.
3. When God gives a child, He gives the means to care for that child...our financial picture improves every time God sends us a new baby (or 2!)
4. I believe that other people's fertility and marriage bed is their own business, as long as they are not aborting babies-which is wrong!
I share our story with those that are interested but I believe it is rude to inquire after another couples private life--unless that inquiry is because you are genuinely interested in changing your own perspective. Meaning--I don't care to have people try to talk me OUT OF trusting God with my family size. I pray that God will inspire people to trust Him through our lives but I NEVER look down on anyone who does not share our convictions and I don't want to be looked down on either. The door goes both ways. I know God is big enough to speak to His own kids when or if He sees fit--just like He spoke to us. I just hope that more people will listen because it's an AWESOME thing to be blessed so much!
5. I discovered through research that many of the 'dangers of having children' were myth's. Especially the ones about older mothers. Please don't try to engage me in an argument here. I don't want to argue. If you disagree with me that is your own choice. If you are not sure or have fears about childbearing. Do some research. I'm not talking about reading conventional reports. I mean REAL research. The kind where you look at actual statistics and find the real info... It's not as bad as we've been told!
6. The more you have the more love there is to go around! And the less selfish every member of the family becomes!
7. Out of all the families that God has blessed with many children I don't see any of them wanting to send any of the children back! :-)

I hope that God chooses to bless us with more children. But if He doesn't, I'll still be fine with that. I so dearly love each one He has given us and I trust His plan.


“And He said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee
for my strength is made perfect in weakness, most gladly therefore
will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power
of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."
(Psalm 127:3-5 KJV)

Edited to add:
Even though I do not make it a habit to inquire after other people's private practice that does not mean they should be unaware of the dangers of birth control methods.

Birth control pills, Depo-Provera or Norplant can cause abortions -go here to read about it.
IUD's cause abortions- go here to read more.

Food for thought:
If we , as Christians, are so sure that God made us? and that God is the giver of life, and that God doesn't make mistakes, and that we cannot force God to do anything...then why oh why are we so sure that it is US alone who makes those babies happen? Where is God in that equation? How in the world does a precious little spirit get delivered into that tiny body if God doesn't want it to? We know that Satan is not a life giver so the only other alternative would be ourselves...are we really THAT powerful? I have even heard well meaning but very confused young wives say.."oh dear...I think I made a mistake ...we shouldn't have got pregnant right now!" No, no, no, YOU did not make a mistake...you did what God expects every married couple to do and then He blessed you for it! YOU do not have the power to make the baby...just the fun of helping the True Creator of Life! :-)

Labels: Family, More About Me